1) You need to make it SUPER easy and PAINFULLY obvious.
2) I'm not renewing our home study...so, you'd better hurry up as it expires in September.
3) You need to give me time to adjust. No 3 days and be here to get your baby "stuff." My heart can't handle the shock...remember, Lord, I'm feeling old. And, my kids need the time to adjust, too.
So, I'm willing...but, I'm not seeking anything more than to do YOUR will.
My experience with adoption has been a love/hate relationship. I hate the big expense, politics, brokenness and emotional roller coaster that is adoption. But, I love my family...and I love how God has placed into our lives through the blessing of adoption my siblings and my youngest sons. Although there have been moments of doubt and tears of frustration, we know that God has called us to adoption not once...not twice, but THREE TIMES!
Maybe my prayer was said in defiance....maybe it was intended as a dare. However it was said (and it was a nightly part of my prayers), God heard me and answered us in full.
Three weeks ago, I got an e-mail from a lawyer's office in Louisiana. I had been in touch with them prior to AJ's adoption due to another situation that they were looking to place. At that time, I had sent them our profile book and home study. The birth mom did not choose us, but the paralegal requested to keep us on their active list. Her e-mail simply inquired if we were still interested in adopting.
Um...sure?
My e-mail response lacked enthusiasm...a mixture of skepticism and uncertainty. No one had EVER sought us out before. We had always been the ones pursuing...seeking...searching.
The reply simply stated the facts. Birth mom needs a family for her child due on November 24th. Full African American child. Gender to be found out July 6th. List of expenses. Did we want the baby?
Um...really?
Brian and I began researching the lawyer, calling to verify details, and sending e-mail after e-mail seeking the advice of others in the adoption arena. It all checked out. Did we want this baby?
Of course. Absolutely.
But, what about money? We filled out the application with the bank. Our prayer was that if God wanted us to walk forward in faith, then we'd get the loan. If not, then we could confidently say "no."
Less than 24 hours later, not only had they approved the loan but the money was in our account. Talk about EASY and incredibly efficient. Apparently, they are used to us calling now for adoption loans?! Oh, boy!
We e-mailed the paralegal. Yes. Absolutely, yes.
It still seems surreal. We have SO much time to plan and prepare that I often find myself doubting it will actually happen. And, that is a very real possibility. Birth Mom can change her mind. But, for now, she knows our family. She knows our hearts. And, she has chosen to place her baby with us.
So, this momma has a new prayer:
Thank you, Lord, for calling me out of my comfort zone. Thank you for teaching me obedience and gifting us this amazing opportunity. Help me to be bold. Be with birth mom and our baby. Keep them healthy and safe. May your presence be ever known throughout this journey. Amen
Oh, and one more thing. It's another BOY!!
