Thursday morning, we started the day like we do almost every week. Kids off to school. Brian off to work. Elijah headed to his Parent's Day Out program at our church and I went to the gym.
This might seem silly in some respects. Maybe I should have spent the morning making plans...putting together freezer meals...cleaning house, but we hadn't gotten a "yes" from the birth mom, yet. Our caseworkers were cautiously optimistic, but there were still a number of variables. So, it made sense to simply move forward with "normal" life until we knew for certain that plans needed to change.
It wasn't until I was on mile #2 of my morning treadmill routine that my phone rang. The caseworker wanted to just check in and update me. First, birth mom still hadn't had an opportunity to see our profile book but they had a plan for her to see it around lunch time. And, second, birth mom had a c-section last night (Wednesday) and the baby BOY was HERE! Remember with me, please, we had spent the last roughly 8 days praying for this baby girl. We'd dreamed of dresses and dollies...pink, ruffles and hair-dos. So, it took me a good solid minute before I could respond.
The silence made our caseworker question if gender was a "deal breaker" for us.
Absolutely, NOT. We were called to this birth mom and to this situation...I just needed to replace the pink dresses with blue jump suits...more energy and potentially less drama. Mind shift arrived...and, ready to move forward.
The caseworker said she would call later in the day after the birth mom had seen our profile and let us know if she had any questions.
Still, we were in a holding pattern.
I texted Brian and the kids with the update...making sure to put BOY in all caps allowing all of us to shift our expectations as well as redirect our prayers.
Then, I finished my work-out. Because, apparently, when you lack "definites" then you stay on Plan A for the day.
As I look back, one of the major signs that this was going to happen should have been that I never felt any anxiety after our final "yes" was on the table. I was apprehensive about the money portion...but, the remainder of the details never rattled the feeling of peace I had.
I did leave a note at Elijah's PDO to let them know the following week Uncle Mike could be dropping him off and picking him up. I made a few initial texts and e-mails to let people know it was looking more likely that we would need them. But, overall, life went on.
Our caseworker called around lunch time, Brian received the call. She just wanted to let us know that the meeting between the caseworker and birth mom had been post-poned a few more hours. They would be meeting at 1:00 (central time). Brian texted me the update. And, life remained calm. Normal. Kind of like that stillness before a major storm....you know it's coming. You can even begin to smell it. But, you aren't rolling up windows or anything. It's that late summer storm that comes when everything is dry and brittle...the rain that has been so long prayed for and anticipated.
Elijah and I had settled in for our rest time routine. It was about 2:00 and we were snuggling while reading his pile of books. My phone rang.
Caseworker: Congratulations! You are the parents of a little boy!
Me: Okay.
Caseworker: The birth mom chose you and your husband.
Me: Right.
(As you can see, I have a gift with words!)
Caseworker: So, can you be in New Jersey, tonight?
Me: Oh, God, No!
(Again, ever so gifted with words!)
Caseworker: It is really important that you be there as quickly as possible. Tomorrow by noon at the latest.
Then, life went into OVERDRIVE. The storm had hit...and the rain was so welcome...exciting...and I wanted to dance in the puddles like a little kid. But, first:
...I had to tell Brian so he could get on the phone with the bank to secure our temporary (God-willing) loan. Paperwork to be found to prove we could pay for this loan. More paperwork to be filled out.
...Texts to our kids to update them that they had a baby brother. Sorry, teachers! I doubt there was a lot of learning going on that day.
...Gentle, loving reminders to Elijah that he was taking a nap and to leave the pictures on the walls. And, no, he didn't need to have another story, practice using the potty or play with bubbles in his bed.
...There were plane tickets to buy for Brian and me. As well as tickets for Uncle Mike to come and be our super Manny! Our church family had already stepped forward and our pastor offered to reimburse us our ticket costs. How cool was that!? It definitely made it easier to type in our credit card numbers. Major blessing!
...There were frantic texts to our beautiful neighbor who in her mid-20s didn't think twice about uprooting her life and moving into our home for the weekend to fill the gap between our leaving and Uncle Mike's arrival.
...The texts to a friend to do a Friday day shift with Elijah, drive our kids to the Friday night football game AND bring over newborn clothes and supplies for our new son.
...The mounds of adoption paperwork that had to be filled out and printed...and signed before a notary. Thank God for our church administrator who was not only willing to be our notary but welcomed this frantic couple into her home to get the job done. And, she blessed us by praying with us before we walked out the door. Such an amazing moment of peace!
...Talking with the older kids about what needed to be covered in the coming weekend, who would cover what, and how we would get through the coming days.
...Calling a girlfriend who graciously pulled together a Mary Kay pampering set for us to gift our birth mom and she arrived within hours with the perfect gift.
...Suitcases needed to be dragged down from the attic and clothes needed to be washed.
...The girls still had to get to piano lessons.
...There still needed to be dinner...thank you, Papa Johns, for your user-friendly app!
...We had a football game to attend and a star player to cheer on...not knowing when we would be at another game.
...There were hotel reservations & rental car reservations to be made.
...Suitcases to pack and back packs to be loaded.
The character of a family comes into clarity with how well it handles crisis moments such as these. I'm sure there could have been many moments of complete melt down...mostly by me. But, each time I felt like my head was going to burst...or my brain was turning to mush, I would find the face of one of my kids smiling at me. They would calmly ask what they could do and how could they help. Instead of starting arguments with each other, they drew together as a team...like family often does...to accomplish our family mission: Bring this baby home.
Step 1: Get Mom & Dad to NJ (like yesterday) seemed to be the biggest hurdle. But, then we have an amazing God....awesome children...and the blessings of friends
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| Elijah and our friend, Kathy, playing in puddles. |
Yet, even in the midst of this storm...with all the chaos and demands of our time, the path was paved with love, grace, forgiveness and understanding.
At 1:30 Friday morning as I put my last item in my suitcase, I knew that the 3:30 alarm was going to be brutal. But, I also knew that what awaited us in NJ would be worth the sleepless night.
And, as I dozed in my bed, I dreamed about dancing in rain puddles...
If you feel called to help support our adoption fund,
please visit:
or
https://pages.giveforward.com/adoption_ivf/page-t9ymvb/
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